There are 7 people living in a 1200 square foot apartment. With 5 of them 6 and under. I don't have a car during the day. And I don't get out much with the kids. I live in the Northwest people. Even we don't go out in the rain much.
But what am I suppose to do? My new neighbor as already "talked" to me about the noise level of the kids. But after some rude remarks to me about how loudly we walk, I have not done what she came up with. Yeah, what was I thinking about letting a strange lady give "treats" to my kids. Loading them with sugar and who knows what else, was a great idea.
Now, I do not let my kids run wild. We have a rule of no running. Quiet feet. I try very hard to keep them playing quietly while inside. But things happen. They trip, fall, throw fits that involves stomping and head pounding, and get all excited when Daddy comes home. I can't make them sit in front of the tv all day long just to please a lady that should be working while we are at home!
I have a 3 and 2 year old. Enough said. They fight all the time. How do I tell Teage to walk at all times? And to have soft feet? He doesn't get it. And it doesn't help that I have a 6 year old that has so much energy that he physically can not sit still.
So, here I am. Living in fear of what she'll do to me. She has started banging on her ceiling if we get too loud. Usually when it's been a really good day, and a child will fall or throw a fit. She'll bang on that ceiling and scare the living day lights out of my kids....and me.
She has made remarks on how I am parenting. She stalks me when I go outside to the bus stop. Seeing if I have have my kids with me. But yet, I have not seen her high school age kids go to school once! They are home ALL THE TIME. Truancy anyone?
And just last week, I'm 99% sure she had one of her sons break a glass bottle on our van. There was no damage done, but I'm sure she was hoping that we would back up and not notice it and pop a tire.
I don't know what to do. I'm scared to leave the house. I don't want her to come talk to me, because I'm sure I wouldn't be very Christian like. But staying in the house all the time is getting old. Do you know, that I don't leave my house until the weekends? I stay inside, only to go out for the bus stop. I never leave. Ever. I don't have a car to leave. And the thought of leaving the house and taking the MAX somewhere with the kids, scares me.
I am at a loss. I know my kids are good kids. I know it must suck to live underneath 5 kids. But that's the risk you take when you move into apartments. It's not like we are making noise outside of normal, everyday noise. And it's within "living hours". The kids are in bed by 8 (or earlier) every night. And in the mornings, we get up at 6:30, but it's just Jake and Zoe and they are pretty good. The other kids are quiet when those two are gone. Or at least, till about 8ish.
And we can't break our lease. Hence the whole apartment living. We don't have cash on hand to move out. To make a deposit on another place. As much as I would LOVE to move into a rental home in Vancouver (Washington), we can't. We just don't have the money to do so. We have 5 kids, remember.
So, here I am. Scared to death to leave my house. Scared to do anything fun with me kids, because I know that will excite them. Scared to even move. And it's making me more depressed with each pounding on the ceiling.
11 comments:
Ooooh it's tricky situation because I can see it from both perspectives. I've lived in quite a few apts and I've been the one upset b/c the people above us are too loud and I've been the one getting chastised b/c my two-year-old won't stop running.
I know you can't break your lease, but is there any way you could move to a first floor apt in the same complex? I know it might feel like you are giving the lady exactly what she wants, but imagine how much easier your life would be. No matter how loud the kids got, no one would hear their little feet across their ceilings. You'd be able to stop telling the kids to be quiet and still. It might be the best solution...
This is so frustrating - who does this woman think she is??
I would tell someone about it, tell the landlord or whoever is in charge of the apartments that you feel threatened by her. Who is she to tell you how to run your family? It's apartment complex living, you're completely right - it's a risk you take.
You were there first, SHE can leave if it bugs her that much!
This is heartbreaking. :(
How often do apartments open up there? Could you switch to a different one that isn't above her if it opens up? Or maybe talk to her to see if she'd be open to swap apartments with you so that you aren't disturbing her?
You seem very stuck in this bad situation and I sure hope you can find a way to get out of it so that you aren't living in fear over it. We had some neighbor problems too before from a mother who left her kids (one in elementary school) home by themselves, even for 3 days once! And they are so loud and disrespectful. We couldn't say anything to them because when hubby banged on the wall of our townhouse, they started banging right back and we were afraid of what it might lead to.
Kids will be kids and there unfortunately you can't make them be perfect little soldiers. What kind of mother would you be if you made them sit down all day and tiptoe around the house? I hope you can at least get out from being above her to make your lives easier. :(
That's sad! We live in good ol' Aggie Village (I'm pretty sure the same triad you guys did, I creepily ready your posts and looked at your pictures from way back when)and our neighbors above us have 3 kids and they walk loud and the kids are loud but who gives. haha We don't think they're doing it on purpose. I'm pretty sure the kid doesn't think before he throws his bouncy ball that there's a chance we'll hear it, he's 6, we'll give him a break. Some people are rude. I'm sorry! Good luck!
I am so sorry. That sounds TERRIBLE! I feel so bad for you. I can't believe she bangs on the ceiling if they kids just fall once. I have sympathy for her, but it sounds like you are really trying, if anything you are scared out of your mind to even move. How long until your lease expires? Not until next July? Uggg....I am so sorry, that's such a difficult situation. Is there any way for you to switch to a main floor apartment?
So I basically hate this. Hate. I used to live above a crazy lady and I didn't even have kids yet! I am so so sorry! this sucks. Sounds like she needs to get a life to me!
I'm sorry you are going through this. I have spent a lot of time living in downstairs or basement apartments and have had wonderful and not so great upstairs neighbors. The one thing I have learned from that is that it really doesn't matter how respectful and great they are, you are going to get some noise and hear people walking.
Please don't let her scare you into not leaving the house. I hate to say it but if she gets really bad about it or actually threatens or vandalizes your property...the law is on your side. I'm certain you aren't violating the noise regulations, especially during the day. Try to be respectful but not fearful, live your life and let your kids be kids within reason.
I hear ya!
I have a lot of the same rules in my apartment too.
She is rude for saying anything to you! You are trying!
Don't be afraid. Just pray every time you leave your home.
I am so sorry! That would be awful. I don't know if my kids ever really walk- so I can't imagine trying to keep them quiet all of the time. You seriously should be commended for all you do- not yelled at by your crazy neighbor.
Girl, you know me. That interesting lady downstairs would have started hearing from me simply because of this little question: if she really has kids, much less teenagers, what kind of responsible adult has children that are quiet like that during the day? If she can't understand that, then she is going to have to start looking at other issues: cameras, security, and if she can't stop probably even some kind of legal means (like restraining orders which demand she stop pounding on the ceiling/floor). Reality check: you live in an apt and whether there are children or not there is going to be noise coming from the neighbors. Grow up, get over yourself (for you really aren't the center of the universe), and learn to be mature enough to accept some fact of life (which somehow she seems to have missed while raising her own "perfect" children). If she keeps pushing, push back a little. If she starts giving parenting advice and criticism ask her how she would feel if you started the same thing on her. If she can't stop, call the proper authorities (sounds almost like there might be just cause anyway, unless those kids are home schooled in which case...why the heck are they so quiet?!). But no matter what, don't let some clueless and even rude lady scare you out of being the amazing mom you are. Don't let her teach your kids to be afraid because she has made you afraid in ways that changed them. You have sincerely tried...time for her to as well. You and your kids each deserve it. (And don't forget: I know you, Steve, and most of your kids, and I know how you guys deal with each other (gotta love those cinder block walls and how much you hear next door and outside). You are NOT a horrible parent nor a rude/discourteous neighbor!)
I am so Sorry, I do know that you can file a complaint with the office regarding her threatening and abusive remarks, I have done it myself. As for the noise I am sure your kids are much better behaved than my up stairs neighbors and they make so much noise that I fear they will fall through the ceiling. Me and the mom have had great talks and I understand her boys have severe ADHD and well boys will be boys. Don't be in fear of getting out of the apartment. I know it is sometimes easier to stay home, i chose that with just two kids let along 5. But I know that your kids are doing kids things and I live under really bad kids so she can come sit in my house one morning and not be able to hear herself think. If she keeps acting that way to the complex go talk to Jenn and tell her you feel threatened and are concerned for your kids safety.
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