Now that the fanfare has worn off and I'm sitting here thinking about being 29, a few things come to mind. Rational and irrational.
First off, my brother died when he was 29. Just shy of two months after he turned 29, he passed away. Ok, so he had HIV and had had it for 10+ years. So, it was kind of his time. But that irrational part of my brain is like...what if. I've read too many stories of young people passing away. UGH, stupid irrational brain!
Second, I've always said that I wanted to finish up college before I turn 30. Well, now I'm a year away from turning 30 and I still have years of schooling ahead of me. Plus, I'm not sure what I want to be when I grow up anymore. I'm still torn from being a high school history teacher, or a midwife. Either way, it ain't happing anytime soon. Too many kids at home. It'll be years before I can crack open a book to study.
Third, my mind is boggled that I'm pregnant with kid number 6. We are still wanting 7 kids. So I can't wrap my head around that I'm almost done. 1.5 pregnancies to go. WOAH! (Said in my best Joey voice)
Forth, does this mean I have to start acting like an adult now? LOL! There are still times I feel like I'm dreaming. That I'm playing house with someone else's kids. Does anyone else ever feel that way?
Fifth, I love birthdays! I love getting older and all the new adventures that come in the forth coming year. I have to say, that my 20s have been good to me. I got married (ok, I was 19, two months shy of 20), I've had 5.5 kids, I've made a lot of great friends. Gone to new places. And the best part, I get to have all these adventures with my best friend.
Which, I just have to say, we are the two most disgusting people I know. We just got back from a camping trip. 4 days of spending 24/7 together. And I miss him. A lot. I hate it when he has to go back to work. I just want to spend all day, everyday, with Steve. I feel like we never left the honeymoon stage. (PS, kids I'm really sorry about this. I'm sure you are gonna hate us when you get older. No one wants to see your parents PDA, but I'm sorry, it's gonna happen, all the time. Get used to it!)
Anyway, I'm trying really hard to focus on the positive. I'm healthy, I'm happy, we have an amazing family. There will be time for me, in my next stage of life, for me to go back to school. Right now, I'm in the baby making, baby rearing, toddlerhood life stage.
I am blown away to think that my baby, my first born, will be 8, in 2nd grade and will be a Cub Scout sooner then what I thought. Before I know it, he'll be 12 and have the priesthood. Time goes by too fast.
3 comments:
Ha ha. I think about dying a lot. Probably because I would hate to have my kids without their mama! I even get so worked up about it that I start to feel like any little thing could be cancer or that my time is coming soon. I dunno I just always tell brennan that we have had life pretty easy, so I worry an *extreme* hardship is coming our way. Of course losing a child would be horrific too ( i worry about quite a bit as well!) Wow, all these depressing thoughts, sorry! I think you will get around to your studying dreams. A gal I know has 7 kids, some older (tweenagers) and she became a midwife a few years ago. Whatever your dreams are, you can make them happen if you really want them! I don't know what I want to "be" either. And the prospect of me doing something might be coming sooner than I think if we only have 2 kids! I sometimes dream that I might go back to school to become something. But overall I just like working in a good workplace with good people. Well, cheers to being 29! I've never noticed you and Steve to be all PDA and everything!!!
Sarah, I love your post. I just learned today in my annual corporate training that we are considered to be young adults in the medical word until our mid forties. Does that help any? Stay on that honeymoon, it's way more fun!
Check out the Pathways program at BYU Idaho. You might be able to go back to school sooner than you think...Even if you couldn't start it for a few years, you could get back way sooner than traditional routes. they are adding majors as time goes on, and it's online and local so you can do it at home. They take your previous credits too. They have a web design degree already. Just a thought. Tuition freezes wherever you start in the program until you finish.
Sarah, I love your post. I just learned today in my annual corporate training that we are considered to be young adults in the medical word until our mid forties. Does that help any? Stay on that honeymoon, it's way more fun!
Check out the Pathways program at BYU Idaho. You might be able to go back to school sooner than you think...Even if you couldn't start it for a few years, you could get back way sooner than traditional routes. they are adding majors as time goes on, and it's online and local so you can do it at home. They take your previous credits too. They have a web design degree already. Just a thought. Tuition freezes wherever you start in the program until you finish.
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